CONFUSED

its been a long day out with anna & i shall blog about it tmr.

i finally plucked up some courage & yeah. found out smth from you. should i be happy for i still love, or should i be sad for you?

contradiction..

Random

Th situation of H1N1 is getting worst, &Singapore has 4cases of H1N1(last updated 28th May 2009 on the news). and as you know, many people have been falling sick these few weeks, which includes myself, so, people! please take care of yourselves. its getting scary! &i hope that th case will end at 4, don't increase anymore. PLEASE?

can only blame myself for being stupid.

had business software application's ica today, and it totally sucks. i think i'll fail badly, cos its really bad, i've never felt so.. hm. how should i put it? it feels like i've just been beaten up. and it feels really bad. i think th phrase " the higher your expectations, the harder you'll fall" is true, but what to do but blame myself for being stupid? i really dont wish to disappoint my family. i kn0w they're always there to support me, but i told them i'll work really hard in poly to achieve good results, but why is it that i work so hard but th result seems to different from what i expected it to be? i've put in all my efforts to study ytd, i tried th practice qns, & i could do them. however, it just blank out today, i was on th verge of breaking into tears while doing th test just now. it really is.. just soooo difficult. save me, anyone? i swear that i'm going to work doubly hard for ica2. i called mummy aft th first part of th exam. i didn't want to cry, but when i heard her voice, i felt that i've totally let her down, i kept wiping my tears off, hoping no one will see them. sorry mama.

i met up with vivian aft the second paper at th library, we went to lot1 for dinner+lunch, &accompanied her to popular to get her coloured papers for assignment & cotton on (body) to get her SEXY home wear. aft that went to meet jingkun. super long nv meet this bro of mine alr. i think its close to 2 years that we haven met up alr. went to sit at coffeebean for a chit chat session, soon aft, close to 8, we left as he was going to meet his girlf. goodluck bro for wooing her back.

received an sms from Jean just now. she says she misses me. hahas. i miss her too. we've really been busy with our own stuffs. & it seems hard to find a time to meet up with each other. shall meet her up during june holidays. &june holidays is th time for me to catch up with what i dont know.

Daddy Kwok, Mummy Kwok & Sister Kwok are my pillar of love & strength to continue studying.
Friends like Nah, enen, kt, jean & YH are th people who listens & supports.
LOVE YOU GUYS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME.

falling leaves are like blanket at my feet, & i miss you like crazy.

Somewhere over the rainbow

CONGRATULATIONS SISTER SIAOPEH FOR OFFICIALLY GRADUATING FROM NYP, 25th MAY 2009!

This is the only picture in my comp for my sister's graduation though, grats uh? wonder when will it be my turn? 3yrs down? the modules are kinda difficult, actually, that day when they were saying, "3 more yrs and its your turn", i was feeling chivers down my spine, is it really going to be 3yrs? or more? i really hope i dont disappoint. i'm really scared.

there's reason to why i titled today's post "somewhere over the rainbow". how good will it be, if this is a world without politics? how good will it be, if this is a world without exams?oh, but nothing is perfect though. well, to someone who smsed me tdy, fret not, i'll not bring my personal feelings into our proj & i'm still willing to work with you.

i'm meeting enen this friday! we shall go& eat th dessert ok? "wo yao chi hao chi de" hahahas! anw, hope there'll be things to buy, so we dont have to make a second trip. cos exams are coming up.

there's computer software app(CSA) exams tmr, its pair work, plus a lil' bit of individual theory. i'm scared, cos there's a whole lot of things that i dont know. i really wish to do well. have been practicing on my own, not to self-praise, but practicing really kinda improve a lil' bit more of my knowledge on CSA. hopefully my partner kn0ws a more >.<>

overdued pics with Nah&enen. & the food which which settled our 2 meals HAHAHA. OMG.random pictures of us. so long nv take neoprints alr. & we're satisfied with twitting that day. HOHO

Boy oh Boy.

I'm seriously sick. i fucking hate it. sick sick sick. no mood to do anything. coughing like mad, freeflow one seh. mygod. tons of homework to do. super big headache. im seriously getting sick of poly life, so many politics, and you. stop thinking you're always right, today still g0t th guts to talk to me. HAHAHA. since u've complained about me, dont act like you're innocent dude. come on, you're a guy, act like one can? anw, dont wish to talk about him anymore. i've lost trust, why is it that poly life is like that? it didn't used to be like that in secondary sch. i miss sec sch so much. can i ever get back thr? i've g0tta be stronger. today, ended sch so late, otherwise i could have went to eat with nah & catch up with her, i've g0t tons of things to tell her man!. Joanna & KT. i miss u girls much to. seriously miss th times when we voice out all our unhappiness. not like people now=( shit life, fuck life, oh, 3yrs.. please fly.

fucking pissed off by you(1)(2)

this post is DEDICATED to 2people. hopefully you'll know who you are=) Well, it all started when you(1) decided to stop hanging out with us, i seriously dont know why, everytime we wait for you then you'll somehow disappear after awhile, its okay. We dont need you. You(2) always thinks you're right, why you have to insist that your ans is always right? if your ans& ideas are soooooo good, u wouldn't be here dude, you're not so smart. since you're so great... ah-huh, and then go & do th work ALL BY YOURSELF. i dont hate you(1), i seriously dont, i really treat you as a friend, but since u decided to side that GUY, thn go ahead, i dont need a friend like you who talks behind my back. To think that the first time you stop meeting us in the morning, i still ask J&V if its something that we said which made you angry, i tried pulling you back, but you yourself wanna drift away from us. So be it, ok? Well, stop acting like you're so close to me when you want to talk behind me, i thought u were some goody person, but that seems to be th total opp case? why cant we have world peace? you started this first, dont blame me for being heartless to you, i'm not going to tolerate any nonsense from anyone who talks behind my back. for you(2), look, get this straight in your head, i'm not the only one who dont like you.

to you(1), IF, you really want to be my friend, come & tell me what you've said behind my back, apologise to me, i'll forgive you, hope you'll change, cos i dont want to lose a friend. If you wish to continue our relationship like that, go ahead, i'm fine with it.

to you(2), COME ON, i dont blame you for being rich, but please stop acting like you're so smart that no one can be smarter, if you're so smart, you'd have continued with your Alevel course, you wouldn't have came here, group proj is GROUP proj cos you have to do in a grp, not do the whole thing by yourself and ask others if they wanna change anything. worst is, when others wanna change, you'll say that they're wrong. you're bringing the wrong attitude into poly life dude. Change before its too late.

If you think you're th one i'm talking about, you can ask me, i'll tell you if its you. oh, btw, if you wanna talk behind me, please talk in private, otherwise, tell me straight in the face ok? thanks

TIRED!

too tired, too stressed. sorry for this emo post. i just g0t back from camp, though camp was fun, but i really dont have enough time for homework, thus th stress, aft camp is always tired. why am i feeling so stress aft camp? maybe i'm flooded with work, maybe i'm just being crazy. ohgod, whatever be. i'm trying very hard to complete my work, luckily james helped me, & he's g0nna help me see if my marketing proj works on wed. thanks JAMES. owe u one. g0nna have a good night slp and tmr's g0t sch. goodnight everyone.

genevie is superrrrrrrrrrrr tired.

HECTIC DAY

坐在这角落
心里很多话想说
我和你的错
就是舍不得放手
伤害你的我
早就应该让你自由
知道我以后
需要一直往前走
也许是越在乎越
会彼此的伤害
这样的爱情又算是什么
爱不在
应该让自己从回忆中离开
爱不在
我们都已不存在彼此未来
有时候对爱有太深太多倚赖
好像你失去在这世界
还能够独单的自由
是曾经有的梦
现在只剩一场空
心里好多疑问
你忘了你的承诺
伤了自已也没有用
眼泪无言的流下来
迟早还是要面对
这段感情的伤痛
是因为越在乎
给彼此伤害更多
有了距离以后
看不透的你和我
爱不在
应该让自己从回忆中离开
爱不在
我们都已不存在彼此未来
有时候对你还是会有关怀
可是心里已经太明白不是爱
爱不在
应该让自己从回忆中离开
爱不在我们都已不存在彼此未来
有时候不管对爱有多少的倚赖
就算再不愿意
再伤心我明白
我们只能放手
爱不在
is our love really gone,B? i miss you, & i really do.

ok! It seriously is KILLING me. i'm still doing my Computer Software Applications. it's really hard, super tired and i've only completed 1 qn, 1 more to go. i met nah @ 230pm tdy in sch agn. hahas. went to AMK hub, Grace acc me from 150 till then, cos nah haven ended yet, haas. thanks ah Gracey. hms. we were supposedly meeting yixin, but end up she g0t a l0t of homework, so didn't come. joanna-enen came instead^^ she was DYING to get out of her house, hor en2? hahas. we headed to ichiban sushi for lunch, super full, guess th 20odd bucks was worth it. &guess what? we went to take neoprints! omg! hahas. its been sucha longggggg time since i last stepped into a neoprint machine? LOL! but th pictures are quite nice k. Finally met up with enen alr, shall meet up soon with kt alright? 4of us needs a good break. hahahas. nah&enen acc me back t sch for th SU briefing, aft that went home, th stupid train broke down in th middle of nowhere, so we couldn't board any train home, ended up taking to city hall from th other side, and took th green line home, alighted @ clementi, took a bus home with enen, we will meet up again next week=)) photos will be up when nah sends me. Byeee^^

Monday Blues.

is it really a routine to miss you, B? many have been telling me to give up, should i give you up and find someone who really loves me? i dont know, i love you so. i've been listening to David Archuleta's A Little Too Not Over You th whole time i was in th train this morning, and it reminded me of you.

It never crossed my mind at all
That's what i told myself
What we had has come&gone
You're better off with someone else
It's for th best, i know it is
But i see you
Sometimes i try to hide
What i feel inside

And i turn around
you're with him now
i just cant figure it out

Tell me why,
you're so hard to forget
Dont remind me,
i'm not over it,
tell me why,
i just cant seem to face th truth,
I'm just a little too not over you

Memories
Supposed to fade
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it be this hard
Should be strong
Moving on
But I see you
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside

And I turn around
You're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you
Maybe I regret
Everything I said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now I'm on my own
How I let you go

As usual, went to sch, blah, we went to junction8 tdy, haas. cos 2hr break. Aft sch we actually played hotel626, its freaking scary luhs (nightmares tnight), but it seems like i'm th only one who's scared, vernon grabbed my leg luhs. XIA SI REN man. i met up with ahneh @ 645, supposed to meet her at 6pm de. but she was held back by her lecturer o.O we headed off to westmall for dinner soon aft, and acc her to popular to get her sketchbk& harvey norman to buy her mp3, she bought a grey creative mozaic. looks cute luhs. headed home. Ron text me to see if i wanna meet him tmr. should i? haas. 6ley. Ron ah.. sorry if i nv meet you k. cos tired ah. hahas! tired tired more tired. hm! saw a super funny pic of ahneh on her blog. her twittings never fail to make me laugh. 8yrs of friendship & still counting on!

Mothers' Day.

If one day, you drove past a bus stop, and you see 3ppl there,

1) an old lady who looks like she's dying.

2) a person who once saved your life.

3) a person you'd been wishing to be your life time partner.

but.. you can only give one person a ride, who will it be? The ans given was as follow:

pass th lifesaver th carkeys and let him drive th old lady to th hospital while staying behind to wait for th bus with my lifetime partner. INTERESTING hur? a inspiring mail to start my day, so i decided to share it with you guys. Today didn't do much, just tidied up my room a lil, finished th stats homework and did some housework before heading to west coast plaza for dinner with my family^^ actually th purpose of going there is to eat at waffles cottage, th waffles there are really nice yea. haas, since we needed a proper meal, so we decided to eat at thai express. i wanted CRAYFISH beehoon, but since it was mothers' day, th menu was thus different from th usual one. WHY? hahahah! so i had green curry chicken instead. hmm. reached home about 930 just now, changed my bedsheet, new blanket ! yay!. hahahas. bet i'll have a sweet dream tonight^^anw. it's school agn tmr. meet ahnahnah tmr to go home tgt, wonder if kt will join us too? haas.i sure miss sec sch alot, esp nah, kt, joanna-enen, jeanwifey, yhlove. though i've been meeting up with nah&kt, but its different from when we used to spend every morning in th parade sq chit chatting, recesses eatting EGGS, and aft sch lunch tgt. I miss all of u man. i smsed jeanlove last night, telling her i miss her, it has been a long while since we sat down for a proper chat aft i started sch, its her olvls yr. I MISS YOU GIRLS lots. hoping that we'll be able to meet up soon. very long never see en2 alr. wonder how are u. haas! i was chatting with Ben ytd, quite suprised he'll talk to me. we've been wanting to meet for dinner bef0re i start sch luhs, haas, until now. BEN NG E.K. its all your fault k, cos u always slp & slp. better meet for dinner bef0re u start work ah. lol! SMILES ( our fav quote) haas. well well well, we'll see h0w ah. haas. gdnight everyone!

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY MUMMY

Do you know that its a torture to think of you every night? it's been close to 3mths, &every night, without fail, you'd appear in my mind, B, its really a torture, i miss you so much, i've got lots and lots of things to tell you. Do you feel th same? th way you looked at me, seems like just ytd. *sigh* never mind. i'm really tired, i'm still carrying hopes that you'd be mine again, one day. You told me you still love me, thn why did you have to leave?



yesterday went to celebrate mothers' day with my family, in between, a lil unhappy things happened, but we still made up ^^ HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY MUMMY! i love you. This is dedicated to you:

When i was 1, you taught me how to walk, i stumbled, and fell, you picked me up and said " my precious child, you can do it"

When i was 7, i had an accident, i cried in pain, you held me and said " my precious child, you can overcome it"

When i was 12, i felt stressed up cos' i was having my PSLE, you held me and said " my precious child, dont be, cos' i have faith in you"

When i was 14, i felt tied up and wanted freedom, i was led astray, you cried and said, " my precious child, turn back, dont go th wrong path."

Now, that i'm 17, i wanna tell you. Ma, no matter what happens, from this day and forth, i will listen to you and be a good girl, i won't hurt you and make you sad anymore. HAPPY MOTHERS' day!
ytd's dinner was great, and since pics are still in th camera, and as usual, Genevie is lazy, so it'll be uploaded at a later date. hahahas^^

JAMES

this is not about st james power station or whatever k. its about a guy called JAMES! lol! actually i dont kn0w him that well either, but he's a classmate. he's those kinda like to disturb ppl one also. i seriously dont kn0w what to blog =X haas! k luhs. help him promote, he can help u fix your comps/ or laptops if it breaksdown( not cursing you that it does, just an info) hahas! idk how much he charges luhs. LOL! anw. JAMES, be more hyper in class luhs. we're all friendly ppl. not as if we will eat you up k. you this kukunehneh. (oops, image is impt) yeah. think thats all i wanna say? hahahs!

P.S: is he ask me blog one hor! lols. dont get th wrong idea ppl^^

getting irritated

is it th weather? or is it just me? realise that i get irritated easily this few days. feel like slapping myself for it. Anw, maybe its just th lack of slp. several ppl have mentioned to me that my dark circles are getting obvious now. haas. btw, have anyone of you realised that there're some ppl around you who are very irritating? i admit i do irritate ppl at times, but these ppl irritate ppl at th wrong time? why wrong time? for e.g, you've alr told him/her that you're busy with your work, yet he/she continues asking you questions, after a while, when he/she finally gets it, th worst thing is that he/she says " ok, i shall sms you." Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? hur? You're alr busy with your work, cant chat on msn, then what for he/she sms you. make sense? ok, quit talking about this and back to sch. Today one whole day tutorial, all was ok, except for th freaking macroE. its super boring. And while we had th 2hr break, th few of us decided to head to th library aft lunch as we still had 1 hr to go, plus they haven completed their work. &since KOANNA & i have g0t nth to do, we decided to camwhore a lil. which i think we took about 40plus pics in 10 mins? or so? hahas! funny hur. Vernon joined in a bit, while yanzhi went off halfway to look for his friend. hahas. here are th photos, uploaded th 5snapshots. supposed to have 20, but i cant seem to click th upload pic icon, so they'll be up tmr=))ok! i know i look retarded! but its fun! shall be back with more tmr! goodnight!

SHOPPING!

Today was a long day, first went t th confuscious or confusious ( however his name is spelt) temple, aft that headed to bugis thr to th guanyin temple to pray, shortly aft that, went to pick wugugu( 5th aunt) up, and.. off we went to town for shopping. bought quite a number of stuffs tday. thanks to mum& sis& wugugu. as you can see, my pink sch bag got one tiny hole, th school bks are sooooo heavy, so i dont wanna spoil my pink bagpack. its my fav you know! haas. &since i needed a laptop bag too, wugugu bought 1 for me. while sis bought a bag for me. oh yea. before that we headed to this cafe at paragon's basement for "high-tea", gugu brought us thr for some cakes. nice siah! next time wanna go again. hahas! thn aft tt we went to robinsons @ centre point, bought some bedsets. haas. total up to about 600plus aft discount, thn 400plus aft gugu's 200bucks voucher. woahs. mummy bought a pair of sandals, and a pair of slip ons for work & going out respectively. gugu bought a pillow & a towel. hoho! shopping day. Daddy came to pick us up and dinner was at th "big car park" ( what we call, cos it's used to park big vehicles), th food thr not bad ah. haas! on th way home, we saw a car accident near HSS thr, beside th mosque. so scary, i always get th chivers when i see accidents, cos i had one when i was p1. omg.( goosebumps) so..home sweet home aft dropping wugugu off below her block. tmr got sch. so i'm g0nna slp soooon!^^

There's not much to blog about today. was supposed to meet ron tdy, but he had to go back to camp for dont kn0w what thing, so i slept in till about 4, mummy kept coming in& try to wake me up, i was too tired to leave my bed. i'm chatting with Grace-ace & squirrel thew now. initially they were quite fierce luhs. scary their poor vievie. LOL. we're still chatting now, th difference between th convo tdy & th past few days is that they are so serious. OMG, like, seriously serious. tmr night going out with my family for some oldies' concert (yay!) , you must be wondering why im going for it, cos i must admit i do love all th hokkien oldies. they're nice, not like th chinese pop songs, cos you'd get tired of it very soon, trust me ppl, you should try listening to those hokkien oldies, they're sentimental & th lyrics makes a great deal of sense =) so.. i guess i'll not be updating tmr till sunday?^^shall do my homeworks tmr cos sunday will be a busy day. will be going to a few temples with my family & fifth aunt ( fit fit aunty as what my sis's boyf calls her cos my aunt quite fit, cool hor^^) thn aft that going to robinson's to shop with them. double yays!

Thursday, no sch tmr!!!

ALOHA! tdy's thurs & there's no sch on fridays for me! hooray! had software applications tdy,&its freaking boring man! zhen de shi bu hui boring man! seriously didn't understand what teddy woo was saying, i totally didn't follow, same goes with yanzhi. we kept asking matthew, junjie what to do, and while plugging in th bluetooth, i banged my head agnst th computer table, &JJ, squirrel thew& yanzhi laugh. (how evil can guys get). i think i didn't follow th lesson cos my mind was wandering off somewhere into th cyber world. haas. aft that went to town with Grace, squirrel thew & ben. haas. ben lost his wallet aft we went to get grace's& my bracelet. panicked !! omg. so we decided to go back to th Marriot hotel where Ben went to th toilet, cos we suspected that it was there, haas, so there it was. Happy le hor Ben? Aft tt went to play L4D with VivianNahNah & Kaiting sister, &HJ &co. so fun man! didn't had enough, but had to go home.. so.. off i went, ahnah&kt acc me to th bus stop, we chit chatted awhile, quite long didn't talk about all these le. haas. shall go out soon agn ok?^^ tmr going to meet ron, wonder if it'll be boring with only th 2 of us. haas. shall blog agn tmr! gdnight people!!